Pawanraj Sadhwani

"Hello again."

"Hello to you, too!"

"What's on your mind today?"

"On my mind? Nothing. That's kinda the weird thing - I think I am losing my ability to think."

"You think you can't think?"

"... well, when you put it like that... But also, yes. I don't know if it is the lack of stimulus, or just a general sense of directionless. Probably the latter. I've never had a problem just generally thinking about things. You know, life..."

"And you still clearly have your inner monologue. You are talking to it."

"So then, you tell me what you are thinking about?"

"... You want a stream of consciousness?"

"Why not. I'm shooting blanks here anyway."

"Well, right now, I am playing a game of chess online with this Russian dude. We played like 3 moves each, standard main line stuff and then he stopped responding. The clock's ticking away, like my life right now, but the guy hasn't made a move in the last 20 minutes, nor responded to chat messages."

"Hmm?"

"Almost 25 minutes now."

"It took you 5 minutes to respond to a hmm? Wow!"

"So, I am thinking what happened? Normally, if you get disconnected, lichess tells you about the disconnection. Heck, lichess apparently temporarily bans you if you just let time run out instead of resigning. So... what was the emergency so dire that he just had to up and leave? Did he have a heart attack? Was it a different kind of attack on his house? On him? Did the government whisk him away? Aliens?"

"So many disturbing things here..."

"The subconscious is a strange place... "

"True, but also, let's recap - it takes you 5 minutes to respond to a hmmm. Your first instinct when someone abandons a game of chess is to wonder if he died, or was attacked? How twisted are you to immediately project the worst on someone? Also, do you... do you have ADHD? And also - h-"

"ADHD - there might be something to it..."

"WHAT?!"

"What?"

"What is this about ADHD?! Why haven't you told me about it before?!"

"Dude, I am your subconscious. YOU are supposed to tell ME!"

"Can we talk ab-"

"Look, Good Mythical Morning just posted a new video. Can we talk about it later?"

"..."

"..."